Mean Betty Imagines Victoria Beckham’s Luxury Hotel

Posh has reportedly been asked to design a hotel in Dubai. Mean Betty can’t wait.

-Mean Betty

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Oh my dear ones, what will they think of next? Victoria “I’m the Same Size as J. Lo” Beckham has apparently been offered nearly $50 million to “design” a hotel in Dubai. The ruler of the country, Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, was, it would seem, quite taken with the designing woman after meeting Posh and her hottie hubbie on holiday. (Stars, they’re just like us!)

According to ShowbizSpy.com,  “The hotel will be located on a fashion-themed island called Isla Moda off the Dubai coast, which is part of The World development — a man-made archipelago of 300 islands constructed in the shape of a map of the landmasses of the Earth.”

A fashion-themed island on a man-made Earth?! What a perfect location for a woman who is clearly not from this planet.

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Apparently Posh hasn’t decided whether or not to take the sheik up on his offer yet, but can’t you just imagine, darlings? A hotel designed by Victoria Beckham? Mean Betty can see it now …

…Room service will only feature water, diet Coke, crackers and carrot sticks.

…In-room slippers will have four-inch stiletto heels; robes will be thigh-high and made of leather.

…TVs will only play soccer matches and the movie Spiceworld on repeat.

…Muzak in the elevators will be Spice Girls songs only.

…The hotel boutique will only carry Hermès Birkin bags and DVB jeans.

…Hotel staff will be instructed not to smile (just like Posh).

…Gwyneth Paltrow will write a review in her Goop newsletter, inspiring us all to go spend that extra $10K we have lying around for a room. For one night.

…Children will not be permitted unless they are dressed in matching Ralph Lauren polo shirts and/or they carry the last name of Cruise or  Smith.

…There will be a strictly enforced “No Italian TV presenters” policy.

Tell Mean Betty kittens, how to you envision a Posh Spice hotel?

xo,

Mean Betty